"A woman who loses her husband is called a widow.
A man who loses his wife is called a widower.
A child who loses its parents is called an orphan.
There is no word to describe a parent who loses a child, for there is no word to describe the pain."

How Can We Help?

Surrey Sands is here to help when your baby has died either during your pregnancy, around the time of birth or within the first few weeks of life. Whether you are a mother or a father, family or friends, Surrey Sands can help you come to terms with what has happened. Without doubt any baby changes the lives of those around it. However, for those whose babies never drew breath or only lived a short time, things are never the same again. The death of a baby is the loss of a family member and therefore the loss of future plans and dreams. At Surrey Sands we know how precious and irreplaceable each baby is and how they will always remain an important part of the lives of all those who love them. See our shared experiences page. When a baby dies, parents often feel isolated believing that although friends and family are sympathetic nobody truly understands what they are going through. At Surrey Sands we do understand as we have all been there too. We also understand from listening and supporting others that everyone's experience of bereavement is unique. Parents often tell us how much our empathic support has helped them to appreciate they are not alone in feeling as they do, and that hearing about other's experiences has helped them to make sense of and cope with their own loss.

Sands Memorial

At different times you may want different kinds of support, and it will be different for everyone. Perhaps you will want to talk to someone else whose baby has died, or find out about practical things that need to be done. You may want to meet other bereaved parents in a small group or you may not want to do anything straight away. We are here to help when you feel the time is right, and will still be here a year on when you will not have forgotten the anniversary although everyone else seems to. We also provide support for parents whose babies died many years ago.

We cannot heal your broken heart but we can help soothe the pain. Through our support services we aim to help you slowly move on and build a new life, without ever forgetting your precious child.

What Services do Surrey Sands offer?

Telephone Support

The Surrey Sands Help line is 07817 410075. This is manned by a trained befriender via a 24 hour Answer phone service. Please leave your name and contact number we will always return your call as soon as possible.

Newsletter

Once registered as a member you will be sent the latest newsletter which is produced 3 times per year. It contains information on the work we are doing with the hospitals, our diary and events information, update on current fundraisers, personal stories from our members, poems, in memoriam's and a good news page.

Information

A range of free leaflets and booklets are available, these will be posted to you along with the newsletter upon registration as a member and are of particular value in the difficult and confusing period immediately after bereavement. A further range of literature and videos are available through National Sands.  

Befriending

Befrienders are people whose baby has also died, so they know what you are going through which is why they are able to give comfort and support. Surrey Sands befrienders are men and women who have been trained by National Sands to offer support via befriending, however they are not trained counsellors. Their time is offered entirely on a voluntary basis, and for most in addition to full or part time employment.

Befrienders are non judgemental and will offer one to one support without prejudice. Support is offered via phone, email, text or home visits. Whether you are newly or long ago bereaved they are willing to offer support as led by you, and for as long as you require. Some people just want one conversation whilst others build a long term relationship with their befriender as they cross the many hurdles to building a new life. There is no charge for this service.

Contact the Surrey Sands helpline (07817 410075) to be put in touch with a befriender near you.

We are now able to offer a trained Grandparent Befriender to specifically support the Grandparents of a baby who has passed away.  Please contact the helpline in the first instance.

Befriender training

If you would like to train as a Befriender to support Surrey Sands members then please read the information on the National Sands website in the first instance following the tabs on the left side of the page. Then, please contact the Chairman to discuss your training options prior to submitting your form.

Sands groups

You can visit any of our informal support groups to meet other bereaved parents once you are a registered member of Surrey Sands. These groups are hosted by Befrienders at venues in Epsom, Kingston, Croydon, Horsham and Guildford. Parents may attend at any point after their bereavement to share experiences and gain mutual support. Some groups are for parents only and others are child friendly suitable for taking siblings along to.  Mums who are pregnant again may attend any of the sessions, or our ad-hoc pregnant again groups, but we respectfully ask you to advise the host if you are attending a group so that we can inform others accordingly. There is no charge to attend groups. Contact the helpline for information and see the events page for dates and venues.

Events

Balloon release	Wave of Light	Twinkle service

In addition to Babies Memorial Services at the hospitals there are 3 events we provide:

Every year in June, which is Sands Awareness Month, we hold a balloon release. This is a family event where you have the opportunity to write a message attached to a pink, blue or white helium filled balloon. A very moving and important event for members however recently or long ago bereaved. Venue varies.

Wave of Light - 15th October lantern release to take part in the global Wave of Light to mark the end of Baby loss Awareness Week.

Twinkle Service - A candlelit Christmas Service for Surrey Sands members and their families. Includes the opportunity to place a message tag on the Tree of Remembrance and light a candle in memory of your baby. Service is for those of all faiths or none and includes musical accompaniment.

Facebook

Add us as a friend on Facebook to show your support for our work.

Surrey Sands Membership

Membership is free however as a self funded group within the National Charity we politely request an annual donation to help cover the newsletter production costs and venue charges for holding support groups.  You must be a registered member to access our support services so please contact the helpline 07817 4100 in the first instance.